--- In diesel_mercedes@yahoogroups.com, "ygmir111" <ygmir111@...> wrote:
>
> I can loan you my .44. Max
>
> So:
>
> I am learning to be careful what I wish for:
> Last night, I had decided I wanted to get up early today, really get a lot
> done...........
>
> As I lay in my bed, dreaming the dreams of the innocent and pure, I suddenly
> find myself torn from said dreams, by both sound and an olfactory attack.
>
> I opened my eyes, and noted it was still dark, and, that this part was
> neither dream nor alarm clock. At this point, still groggy, I noted it was 4
> a.m.
>
> After a moment, I came to realize, the sounds, were my dog puking........and
> that wonderful "dry heave" sound they make.
> The next realization I made, was, the aroma:
>
> Dog puke mixed with super strong skunk!!!!
>
> Oh, the joy, the rapture, of this awakening!!!
>
> As I started my own dry heaving, I leaped from my bed and found said pooch,
> curled up, sick, and scared (this being his first skunk encounter)
>
> Ah.........I search my mind for the remedy I had used long ago........
>
> So, I put the dog in the shower, and closed him in there, while I ran
> downstairs to fetch some kerosene, and dish soap.
>
> As I lilted down the stairs, noting the faint glow if another beautiful morn
> beginning on the horizon, I managed to twist my ankle and stumble and roll
> across the living room floor............nice touch.
>
> grabbing said remedies, I raced/hobbled back up, and doused said canine with
> kerosene, rubbing and scrubbing to get it worked into his coat, and, loosen
> the oils of "eu de Skunk".
> Then, kneeling in the shower, I got the water temp "just so", and, proceeded
> to cleanse my pooch with a tri-fold repetition of dish soap/rinse cycles.
>
> The dog was not having fun.
> I was squatting in my sweat pants, soaked from water and kerosene, and
> realizing what a wonderful Sunday morning this is turning into.
>
> As I ended this "dance of cleansing", I stepped out of the shower, to get a
> towel to dry my companion, when, he "bolted"..........
> I was no match for his lightening speed and, he got by me, and proceeded
> towards the door, and stairs down to the living room, and, eventual escape
> to the out of doors.
> I gave chase, hailing him with a loving call......and for a moment had hope!
> as he rounded the corner, on the hardwood floor, he lost traction and
> skidded past the door....."I've got him"!!
>
> Nope.
>
> I hit his wet tracks, and, even with my cat-like grace, was unable hold the
> g-forces of the turn, and, tumbled right past the spot he had been at, for
> he had recovered his footing and sped out the door and down the stairs
> whilst I slid past.
>
> He was gone............
>
> so, I proceeded to chase him, knowing it was useless due to his
> insurmountable lead by now, and, he ran out the dog door and disappeared
> into the light light of early dawn.........
>
> so, I proceeded to find every where (hopefully) he had puked or rolled on
> the floor, and began to clean, hopefully to recover the (as often described"
> "rose like" aroma of my domicile.
>
> And so I scrubbed..........
>
> Finally, the dog reappeared, and, I was sort of happy to see him, in that he
> had not run away completely........until I noted the caked dirt and mud from
> his rolling outside (I suppose to abate that horrible clean smell)
>
> Ah, my morning was now complete, as he ran across the floor, and carpets,
> tracking mud and dirt all along, to finally come to rest on my couch.
>
> He is home, and all is well.
>
>
>
> And, this dear friends, ends the story of my Sunday morning.
>
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