I am learning to be careful what I wish for:
Last night, I had decided I wanted to get up early today, really get a lot
done...........
As I lay in my bed, dreaming the dreams of the innocent and pure, I suddenly
find myself torn from said dreams, by both sound and an olfactory attack.
I opened my eyes, and noted it was still dark, and, that this part was
neither dream nor alarm clock. At this point, still groggy, I noted it was 4
a.m.
After a moment, I came to realize, the sounds, were my dog puking........and
that wonderful "dry heave" sound they make.
The next realization I made, was, the aroma:
Dog puke mixed with super strong skunk!!!!
Oh, the joy, the rapture, of this awakening!!!
As I started my own dry heaving, I leaped from my bed and found said pooch,
curled up, sick, and scared (this being his first skunk encounter)
Ah.........I search my mind for the remedy I had used long ago........
So, I put the dog in the shower, and closed him in there, while I ran
downstairs to fetch some kerosene, and dish soap.
As I lilted down the stairs, noting the faint glow if another beautiful morn
beginning on the horizon, I managed to twist my ankle and stumble and roll
across the living room floor............nice touch.
grabbing said remedies, I raced/hobbled back up, and doused said canine with
kerosene, rubbing and scrubbing to get it worked into his coat, and, loosen
the oils of "eu de Skunk".
Then, kneeling in the shower, I got the water temp "just so", and, proceeded
to cleanse my pooch with a tri-fold repetition of dish soap/rinse cycles.
The dog was not having fun.
I was squatting in my sweat pants, soaked from water and kerosene, and
realizing what a wonderful Sunday morning this is turning into.
As I ended this "dance of cleansing", I stepped out of the shower, to get a
towel to dry my companion, when, he "bolted"..........
I was no match for his lightening speed and, he got by me, and proceeded
towards the door, and stairs down to the living room, and, eventual escape
to the out of doors.
I gave chase, hailing him with a loving call......and for a moment had hope!
as he rounded the corner, on the hardwood floor, he lost traction and
skidded past the door....."I've got him"!!
Nope.
I hit his wet tracks, and, even with my cat-like grace, was unable hold the
g-forces of the turn, and, tumbled right past the spot he had been at, for
he had recovered his footing and sped out the door and down the stairs
whilst I slid past.
He was gone............
so, I proceeded to chase him, knowing it was useless due to his
insurmountable lead by now, and, he ran out the dog door and disappeared
into the light light of early dawn.........
so, I proceeded to find every where (hopefully) he had puked or rolled on
the floor, and began to clean, hopefully to recover the (as often described"
"rose like" aroma of my domicile.
And so I scrubbed..........
Finally, the dog reappeared, and, I was sort of happy to see him, in that he
had not run away completely........until I noted the caked dirt and mud from
his rolling outside (I suppose to abate that horrible clean smell)
Ah, my morning was now complete, as he ran across the floor, and carpets,
tracking mud and dirt all along, to finally come to rest on my couch.
He is home, and all is well.
And, this dear friends, ends the story of my Sunday morning.
------------------------------------
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